


Clouds

by weird_hoodie_kid



Series: Trans Nico and/or Will [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Periods, Trans Male Character, Trans Nico di Angelo, Trans! Nico, angst with happy ending, or idk tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weird_hoodie_kid/pseuds/weird_hoodie_kid
Summary: Coming out can be an interesting journey.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: Trans Nico and/or Will [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890139
Comments: 3
Kudos: 105





	Clouds

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for gender dysphoria
> 
> This is partially inspired in my experience being a trans man
> 
> if this is not your case is ok and you are as valid as everyone else
> 
> experiences are not universal

He didn't really know what induced him to start doing it, but he kept it.

When he first came to camp he introduced himself with another name, that settled Bianca off, like the time he impulsively cut his hair in the hotel.

He felt good when Percy Jackson called him Nico, because if Percy called someone something everyone called them that.

He wasn't out to Percy, nor Annabeth, nor anyone he had a quest with. He didn't think he would ever come out to them.

When he hit twelve he started… developing.

It was awful, between everything happening he got his first period, which a lady in a bathroom stall helped him with, and his chest started… growing.

That was when he got scared, he thought of how everyone would know, and it was scary.

He got bandages and pressed everything down, nobody had to know.

But it's not like the fates respected the idea of boundaries or anything like that. He had to get Hazel, his sister, new sister… Old sister, technically she was older than him.

He was already fourteen when he first told someone, and it was his sister.

“Do you know of boys who… Were girls? Before?” He said, he didn't like to refer to himself as a boy who was once a girl, he has always been a boy, but it was hard to explain, it was difficult to understand, medicine didn't help with it because it talked of once being a girl, he was never a girl.

“Not really, but it seems cool” she said, they were laying down on a roof.

“What do mean by ‘cool’ ” as far as Nico knew it was a torture, specifically in certain days of the month.

“I don't know, this era is fascinating, you know?” She looked at the sky, at the clouds “I don't think that after coming back to life I will ever find something strange anymore”

“I am a boy, Hazel” He looked at her.

“I know, Nico” She looked at him and he felt on the verge of crying.

“I used to be a girl” he said and finally broke down.

“You aren’t anymore” she sat down and reached for him, pulling him in a hug “I will hit everyone who says otherwise, alright?”

They stayed in a hug on the roof of a building in New Rome.

Later it was the beautiful quest through Europe with the Argo II.

The worst experience of his life, the only kind of good thing is that the dead induced sleep he got in the jar made his period late, which was probably the best thing that could happen, he really didn't want the pain to strike in him and leave him in bed rest. As usual.

Hazel sat down next to him “Are you ok?”

Nico nodded.

"Are you…?” she made a motion with her hands, pointing down with finger guns and making a duck face.

She was asking him if he was bleeding.

“No, Haz, I don't think it's happening anytime soon” he smiled lightly.

She widened her eyes, he could feel fear in her “Are you…” she lowered her voice so much it felt like the whisper of a heartbeat “...pregnant?”

Nico stared at her in disbelief, how did she reach that conclusion? He had no clue.

“No, Haz, no, no now and in a hundred years, no, no, no, never” He moved his hands a lot while saying that, he forgot that he used to do that at a young age. 

He looked how Hazel sighed in relief and laid on the bed they were sitting and putted her hands on her face “Nico you scared the shit out of me, Jesus Christ and all the saints next time tell me next time before saying ‘I won't in a long time’” She nudged him with her knee “I almost die, I thought I was having a heart attack!”

“Believe me, I won't make you an aunt at fourteen” he said “Or ever”

“I would be the best aunt, you know?” she said, sitting up again and hugging him from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“I'm not going to get pregnant ever, Hazel” He said.

One bad thing that had happened is that his little sister outgrown him, which means she is taller than him.

“I love you, Nico” Her calling him by his name made everything worth it, she kissed his cheek. He liked when Hazel hugged him and kissed his face, it felt like something his whole family(minus his father) liked to do, he had a faint memory of his mom kissing his face, he remembered that Bianca kissed his forehead and both of his cheeks when he cried, Hazel liked this sibling affection, Nico liked it too.

“I love you too, Hazel”.

He could count with one hand how many days he slept in the Argo II, all of them were either because of his sister or because he banged his head on something, Hazel had made him rest for entire days, without bandaging his chest because she was afraid he might break his bones.

He was afraid someone might walk in and see him like that, at least Hazel gave him a big hoodie of her’s to sleep comfortably in instead of his aviator jacket.

More than once Frank had walked in to talk to Hazel to find him drowned in covers.

Nothing could have prepared him for cupid though.

Jason was the second person to know, and it wasn't willingly. There wasn't a hug or guessing the shape of the clouds or getting teached english words.

He felt so sad, like he had ever felt before, he wanted to be alone because of the sadness, he wanted to get out of his body because he couldn't handle the sadness.

He went to sleep instead.

After the battle he found himself staring at the mirror of his cabin, he was unbandaged, on a camp shirt he found in his closet. He always did this when no one was awake, he took the part of his back of the shirt and molded his figure with the fabric.

Disgusting. That was the first thought that popped in his head.

He hated his hips, and his chest, and his arms, he let go of the shirt, it wasn't going to help him.

He got back to bed, Hazel was sleeping safe and sound, there was nothing too important like to worry about right now.

Everything got very fast, and suddenly he was getting checked by Will Solace, a cute boy, a cute _tall_ boy.

He weighed him and checked his injuries, because it was something medics did, check if you were bleeding your organs out.

“I need you to take off your shirt” he said.

Oh, he definitely couldn't do that in front of anyone.

“Uh… No” Nico said, he had a makeshift binder with a sports bra and bandages he found in his first aid kit.

“Yeah, I respect your boundaries and everything, Death Boy, but, I can't do that in the medical field” He explained while playing with the string of his stethoscope “I have to know if your heart is beating”

“I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't beating”

"I have to check it anyways”

Nico knew he had to, or they would be there the whole day, and Will was tired he didn't know if he wanted to deal with an angry Will.

“Why the holy fuck did you bandage your chest you big dumbass” Will started to undo the DIY binder, Nico tried to stop him.

"Stop doing that! I worked hard on it, ok?” Nico tried to lower his voice and managed to get Will’s hands off him “And never touch me like that again”

“Nico, take that off” Will looked at him right in the eyes “You will get yourself harmed, I will help you get an actual binder that won't kill you, but for right now I need you to take that off before you kill yourself”

Nico wanted to cry for some reason, and he undid the bandages.

Will pressed the stethoscope in Nico's chest.

“Are you ok?” Will asked.

"I don't know” Nico said “It's just… I’m a freak, I'm disgusting”

Will sat down next to him and pushed the shirt to Nico's head.

“I don't think you are a freak nor disgusting” He guided the other boy’s arm through the arm hole “It's fine being like you are, you are beautiful, Nico”

Nico could feel himself blushing “Thanks…”

Will smiled “You can tell me when you need anything, ok?” Will got his hand in Nico's cheek.

Will stood up “I will get you to your bunk and I will get you a sweatshirt, would you like that?”

“That would be fine”.

That moment he knew he was in love with Will Solace.

  
  


Nico was in the bathroom of his cabin, it was months from when he was at the infirmary, he had gotten his first binder, he was, like Will had pointed out he would feel, gender euphoric.

Apparently that is a feeling.

He wouldn't get out of the bathroom because he was on the binder and Will’s Welcome to the Black Parade shirt, looking how flat he was, will have helped him from outside the bathroom on how to put it on.

He wasn't getting out of the bathroom mainly because he was too busy smiling until his face hurted and making small hops.

“Nico, I know you want to look at yourself the whole day but there are people you gathered to see how you look in your binder” He heard the voice of his sister.

He got out of the bathroom and saw his newfound friends Cecil and Lou Ellen, his sister, Reyna(who both Nico and Hazel adopted as their big sister) and his recently found near trash can, boyfriend Mr William Andrew Solace.

“Will, Will, Will, look! Look!” he moved his hand through his chest to show that it was flat.

“I can see, Neeks” He smiled.

“You look nice, Nico” Hazel said, Reyna smiled from her position sitting in Nico’s bed.

Nico was literally bubbling with happiness, he started slipping Italian, no one understood a thing but no one had the heart to stop him.

“È fantastico, inizierò il testosterone e mi farò crescere la barba e avrò le spalle larghe e sarò il miglior uomo di sempre” He hugged everyone, one by one.

Isn't it nice to have a happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> translation (which is probably wrong):  
> This is amazing, I'm going to start testosterone and I will grow a beard and I will have broad shoulders and I will be the best man ever
> 
> i dont imagine nico growing a beard either
> 
> dont bind with ace bandages!! in youtube there are a lot of videos recommending sport bras brands that get similar results to a binder
> 
> "Ace bandages are not made to move with your body, and they can cause serious issues such as tearing muscle, bruising of the ribs, misshaping the spine, and serious lung damage." — http://www.idontdoboxes.org/your-friendly-neighborhood-binding-safety-guide/


End file.
